December 30, 2005
This post is happening because of much urging of Kitt (I swear your personalized page is happening, just… you know, not very quickly). I’m on my winter break right now, obviously, and the only thing that I have been able to accomplish is that I watched all four seasons (93 episodes) of Scrubs in four days. Between this, playing warcraft and very little human contact other than my apathetic family it’s been a very boring week. I think I have begun my descent into madness. Let me recap the last 3 nights worth of dreams:
1. I was offered to sell my soul to the devil. It was more like giving, because he wasn’t really offering anything in return. When I said no, the dream turned into what seemed to have been a game clip warcraft where I was literally having a nightmare because we couldn’t control the monster and it was going to break free into the real world.
2. I dreamed that I was a doctor (probably caused from watching so much scrubs) and was getting so much ass from nurses. I woke up and sighed so loud cause I remembered I was a computer science major and the only way I can meet new girls is to take electives in literature or sociology. Damnit, is it too late to change majors?
3. This one kinda has a back story to it. You see, I have been growing out my beard since thanksgiving and to put it bluntly, it does not look good. Hair grows in light in some places and heavy in others and it kinda looks like a werewolf going through puberty. Well, after many, many people have told me to shave it off (or hinted deeply at it) I was all about to. And then I had this dream where I shaved it off and regretted it for the rest of my life. This was the only dream I had that was a little inspiring, and even then it was kinda disappointing.
Well to wrap up, I have spent my time in madness posting on facebook how you met people. And rather than being boring and writing "I went to high school with this person" I decided to mix it up. I put down for everyone that I met them randomly and then I make up some story which is relatively funny (if I say so myself). Here is a few samples. For the rest, you’ll have to check facebook, click on a friend of mine (under another school) and then change the drop down list to "Random Friends".
December 9, 2005
I sit here relaxing, drinking a natty bottle listening to pachelbel – cannon in d major (it’s classical music). The reason why I mention a natty bottle is because I didn’t want to put it out there that I listen to classical music and think that I’m better than you, I drink the same garbage as other college students. Anyway, I just finished my weak of hell (as people who checked my away message could have told from the “I am royally fucked” message). I have finals next week and frankly, they are not nearly as worrisome as this past week where I had 4 projects and 3 presentations due in 4 days. I just want to add a few quick stories over the past week.
I had to go to the Rutgers invitational with my swim team the past Friday. I was kinda bummed about going there. I mean I have grown accustomed to losing (I lost at this meet by 80 points to someone who failed a dive on 3 meter, and 7 points to my teammate who failed a dive on 1 meter… Dead Fucking Last, woohoo) but honestly, scheduling meets 2 weeks before finals where we’re away the entire weekend sucks. It did have its ups. They had platform diving (5, 7, and 10 meters) and since there was no diving on Sunday jeff and I went off of 10 meter. At first I didn’t want to go off and went up on 5 meter and just did a jump. All the swimmers were cheering for me when I went up there thinking I was going to go out and hurt myself for their entertainment. When I just ended up jumping they booed me. Then I went up on 10 meter and got more applause. Let me tell you, it’s fucking scary up there (33 feet up). I didn’t know how to go off so I did the whole Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade “leap of faith thing” (just keep head forward and walk off). Afterwards, I told Karo “I tried to pee myself but the urine never came!” That was pretty accurate. Ever since then though, things have been a whole lot less scary, which is a good feeling.
Anyway, in case you didn’t like that story, our good friend Jack sent me a great link. And then this was similar enough that I need to include it as well.
November 25, 2005
Real quick - i went to the drawing today for the election results. Basically me and my 'oponent' picked numbers out of a box and the lowest number wins. First of all, my oponent never showed up so a staff member there picked for him or her. I picked first with a 5 and then the woman picked a 7. Thus, I won, i am now the Majority Inspector of Election of Upper Dublin, District 1-3. I will receive more details about what I actually do later, but as of right now, i found out that i get to appoint clerks. I'm not sure what they do, so don't ask to be one yet.
On a related note, my brother Nate suggested after reading the original post that i get a t-shirt that says "Boob Inspector" on it and then i cross out Boob and write Election. I thought that that was funny enough to add to this post.
November 23, 2005
I have a few announcements. One, welcome back to the United States Kitt, i hope you enjoyed Australia. I think a page dedicated to you is in the works, since you've been the motivation behind most of my posts for the past 4 months. Next, Happy Thanksgiving, it's tomorrow but i'm not posting tomorrow. Lastly and most importantly, after i came back from school today my parents told me that i received a letter that looks fishy. It was from Voter Services from my township and my parents probably assumed i committed voter fraud or something. I saw it and the first thing i said was "Oh shit, i won..." In reality, i didn't win, I tied with 1 vote for Inspector of Election of Upper Dublin District 1-3. I don't know what to say about it, but you can bet your ass that i'll be there for the drawing (see the letter below) to win the election for real. Basically, I'm just counting on the other guy not showing up.
November 13, 2005
I just returned from sunny and hot, upstate New York. La Salle was once again embarrassed by a conference foe in swimming & diving 169-74 (that’s a big loss in swimming for those who don’t know). Anyway, some good came out of this meet. No, I did not dive my best, actually it was no where close to that. You see, before this meet I had an idea. The idea was to make an 80s CD with such happy, corny, cheesy songs that it would always cheer me up. So what does this have to do with the meet? Well, I got the CD to be played before diving started during our warm up session. This may seem like a small victory at best, but it was an extremely proud moment in my life.
I spent about 6 hours Thursday preparing this CD. There were many collaborators to make this CD great so I should say special thanks to my brother Dan, my roommates Bill and JR and to the Internet for supplying a few songs just by listing cheesy songs. So anyway, here is my list of songs and any special comments I have about them.
October 31, 2005
Happy Halloween!
Well homecoming weekend just passed. Here are some of the highlights. I dressed up like a clown with my friend Karo. (paint image at bottom of this post). The original plan was to get whipped cream and to pie each other in the party but people were being fags and wouldn’t let us do it because we’d make a mess (inside) or attract cops (outside). So we had to make our own fun. Since I was a clown, I had to have at least one good clown joke, or fail that, one really dumb clown joke that no one gets. I opted for the second. This is how the joke panned out:
[I see someone at the party. I put out hand to shake theirs with, start shaking but do not let go through out the conversation]I bet your thinking “why is this funny?” The answer is simple. You do this to people more and more when they’re getting drunk multiple times by multiple people and its starts getting extremely annoying. It’s even funnier if someone laughs at the corniness of the joke.
Me: Hey, how you doing? You aren’t afraid of clowns are you?
Other person: Not really, why?
Me: Because you’re shaking
[Other person just gives blank stare at what just happened. I start to laugh and they walk away completely un-amused]
October 10, 2005
Well, I promised to update my site this past weekend, and like always I failed. I actually went home this weekend and saw The Forty Year Old Virgin and Waiting. Both were funny, but I’m not here to write about them. Before that I have been stressed out over my personal life and school, and I figured that this past weekend was the first time I could update. What I’m writing about today was about my wisdom tooth removal that happened 3 weeks ago.
This first started after I went to the dentist and they told me that my teeth were impacted and needed to come out. I haven’t heard anything about the operation itself other than my druggie friends telling me I’ll get percocet or vicodin after I’m done. I went into the first meeting with them and they charged me 25 bucks. I wasn’t too worried about the money if the receptionist wasn’t the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. How fucking hard is it to say “please wait, the doctor will be with you soon” or “I’m sorry the forms you filled out are wrong, can you please look over such and such…”. Instead she comes off like a cunt and yells at me about insurance forms and what not. After I filled out the forms, they took me back and I watched a video of “what could go wrong with this operation.” It was very relaxing, and that was the best five minutes of sleep I’ve had I awhile. The doctor came in, asked if I had any questions and told me to opt for the option where they put me to sleep, which I chose.
The next time I came back was operation day. I was called immediately and went into the back room. The nurse said the doctor would be with me shortly. After waiting 15 minutes the nurse came back in and said that surgery next door wasn’t going well (which is a soothing) and it will be a little longer. In the meantime she puts on clamps on my wrists to take my pulse and takes my blood pressure. For the next 10 minutes or so I’m trying to figure out how to lower or raise my own pulse without moving. The lowest I got was 52, the highest 84. Then with out even trying my pulse went down to 43. I thought that I was dead… and sure enough I was right, as the machine started to beep and flash until the nurse came running in. Turns out the things weren’t right on my wrists and they just fixed it and it went back to normal.
Anyway, the doctor finally came in and said it was time to get started. He put the IV into my arm and started to talk to me about something. He then said a minute later “how do you feel?” I felt fine and told him so. Then he said “it will be hitting you any second.” I was honestly thinking “I think you just gave me ordinary saline, this shit ain’t gonna work.” He then taps me in the shoulder asking me how I feel, and I say fine again. Not 10 seconds later he does it again and I’m like “Finnnnn…………”
Flash forward an hour, I come to, I’m already standing (not really sure how). I’m laughing my ass off with bloody gauss in my mouth and the doctor is telling my mom that I lost a lot of blood. At this point they schedule me to get my stitches out (I’m so fucked up at this point I have no idea whats going on) and my mom does it for the following Friday at 8 AM. Somehow I get a hold of a pen and write “Monday 8AM” on my hand. I’m still not sure why I wrote that.
We leave and my mom goes and gets arnica (which really is a miracle drug) to stop me from swelling. At this point Karo, one of the other guy divers, calls me and all I manage to say was “IN EXTREME PAIN, CAN’T TALK NOW”. In reality, I’m still tripping from that anesthetic and I feel great. When I get home I tell my mom to get my pain pills from the pharmacy ASAP. And I went to sleep (and bled all over my pillow).
I wake up and it feels like someone just beat me in the head with a baseball bat for 20 minutes. I go to the bathroom and spit out like 2 ounces of blood. I take my pain pills and I calm down after 15 min and go back to sleep. It was basically like that for the next 18 hours. I finally took out the gauze the next day and began to recover a bit.
Over the 4 days after the operation I did not eat anything. I lost 15 pounds (see anorexia works!). Then after I started eating again I gained back 5 immediately (cause I wasn’t exercising at all). I noticed that 5 or 6 days after the operation my breath was stinking like blood and no matter how many times I brushed I couldn’t get the taste out. I finally went to get my stitches out a few days later and they took out the most rank, nasty smelling, awful packing gauze that was in my wound. My mouth felt like 100 times fresher immediately. It turns out that when he took out my tooth the roots were so deep in my mouth that when it came out it started to bleed like crazy. This also means that the doctor could have hit my nerve canal which would have made me lost my senses of taste and smell (which he assured me has only happened twice in the thousands of times he has done this operation).
Well that’s basically the story of my wisdom teeth, I still have gaping holes in my mouth but its all good.
October 9, 2005
Look for an update tomorrow, but here is a short one:
Me: what should my name be on my sweat pants/sweat shirt
Shannon: JEW BOY
Me: wouldn't you rather me wear a wool gold star? Thats what you did in the late 1930s and it seemed to work
September 14, 2005
A few things to note: One, you can't expect to win a football game if you turnover the ball 3 times. Two, go phillies, you're 1 game out of the wildcard and 6 out of the division. Three, a possible new lay out coming courtesy of me finally taking a web application class (this time it might not look like complete shit!). Four, still no updates for my brother's page. Alright gotta go continue my sabbatical from my computer.
September 7, 2005
Three days after my 21st birthday. Good times. I guess i can take down the counter. Oh and by the way, click on my brothers website to see some good photochopping i did. Its fantastic.