Worst site ever archive... May - June 2004

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May - June 2004

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June 30, 2004
Well, here i am another summer night of doing nothing. I finally got bored with the game i was playing so i am taking a good week or two break from it. Since i have nothing better to do, and obviously the rest of the world has a life and i dont i have decided to come up with some kind of Instant Message Away Message etiquette. So with out further ado...

Rule 1: Away messages are a reflection of you, so please dont put something stupid like 'I am away from my computer' for every place you go. My brother is one of the most computer illiterate people alive and yet he still puts a little thought into away messages. So when you put the generic away messages up you are saying one of two things to people: One, "I am a boring person." or two, "I am an unoriginal bastard."
Rule 2: Do not steal away messages, and if you do at least quote from who you got it from. This has happened to me several times. The first time i can remember, i stole an away message from Tom Higgins... mostly cause i couldnt remember if i had thought of it or not, but it turns out i stole it. After i apologized, i never used that away message again. That was the last time i stole an away message from anyone. On the other hand plenty of people have stolen away messages from me, and when i see how they stole it from me and with no source, i get angry. I think of them as a hack and hope they rot in hell. Then i go play video games. But that’s besides the point. So once again, dont steal away messages, you can borrow them but make sure to say who you got it from.
Rule 3: Along with rule two, dont steal away messages from websites. No one has ever stole anything from this site (i think its my fake copyright symbol at the bottom... or they are intimidated that i will track them down and be angry with them for life) but when i was an unoriginal bastard when i first got interested in instant messaging and away messages came out i was too stupid to just think of some i had to take them from websites. I think one of the messages still appears on my other computer something about the bathroom being 'foreign' to me or something. Well like i said, these away messages are dumb, everyone has seen them before plenty of times and no one wants to read them again.
Rule 4: Please check your spelling on away messages. I am not saying they have to be flawless, but when people like Tim Derr puts up the same away message every night ("SLeep") it just pisses me off. It's one fucking word! Just fucking correct it already. By the way, i know my sleep away message is spelled wrong but that was done on purpose because i thought it looked funny.

This one is actually good, see humor is good

Rule 5: Please do not put up away messages dealing with your life, but disguise it through a rhetoric of poems or something. I have seen people put up away messages that are clearly about them losing a friend of some sort and i have to wade through the bullshit to figure it out. Then when i figure it out i feel that i have wasted my time. Then when i contact the person about it they act like its not about them, but i am more clever than that and i feel like telling them to "pull their head of out of their ass." In conclusion, please dont waste people's time like that.
Rule 6: Unless you are using your away message for a novelty purpose (humorous) please say where you are. Otherwise people just think you are on crack. I mean i cant tell you how many times i read peoples away message with some slang or something and i have no idea what they are talking about, and its sometimes important to contact them, so its hard to get a hold of them (this has been reduced since cell phones went real main stream, but never-the-less this is important). Anyway, i am not hip with the lingo, put your god damn messages in plain old english and that should solve a lot of problems.
Rule 7: Do not emphasize controversial topics in away messages, again unless you are trying to be funny. But honestly when you are just saying things like "abortion tickles" and you are serious, you deserve to rot in hell. This isnt because i'm against abortion, its the fact that you are forcing your own opinions down other people's throats.
Rule 8: Finally, I'd like to make this the most important rule... i guess it should have been number one but well i'm an idiot and put it last. Comedy over rides all of these rules. If you are honestly trying to be funny, whether it is or isn't in real life, it overrides any of these rules (except this one... cause then the entire universe would collapse).

I see that i fucking wrote too much, i had ideas for more but considering i am just looking at code and its just gibberish now, i'll let it end as it is. One more note, this isnt a rule but i think its funny, with any away message i think you could respond to it by saying 'sounds erotic' and it makes perfect sense. Try it out!

June 16, 2004
Most people have probably heard of this story from another website or from television. I have an interesting twist on the story though. First check the link. Don't see anything odd about the article? Then let me point it out:

The man who took the foul ball has not responded publicly to the criticism, but The Dallas Morning News identified him as Matt Starr, a married, 28-year-old landscaper and former youth minister. Starr did not immediately return a telephone message left by The Associated Press on Wednesday.

So now my name has direct correspondance to the biggest asshole in the world. Now i'm famous... or infamous. Awesome! Thanks to Gerry for the link and the heads up.

Update: I just read else where that the reliever from the Cardinals, Steve Kline, sent a shirt over to Matt Starr which was signed "Tough guy and ball stealer". The shirt was never delivered though because Matt Starr left the game shortly after Reggie Sanders gave his gifts to the four-year old boy. I wonder if i can track down Steve Kline and ask him if i can have the shirt since the other guy obviously didnt want it.

June 12, 2004
I was just relaxing in my chair* and i realized i hadnt updated in awhile. I guess the only thing to say is that yesterday i had a softball game. And although we didnt win (which is no surpirse except to Dan, my brother) i learned a valuble lesson. If you are going to play catcher during an inning where we give up 16 runs, then i suggest you stretch. This morning i woke up and waddled around like i just had a colonoscopy. Then when i went to put on my shoes i realized my back was in serious amounts of pain as well. I have no idea why my back hurts but it successfully made it so i didnt leave the house today. Also this is being posted at 1 AM so i am talking about Friday, June 11 even though this post is for the 12th. Oh and if you're wondering about that asterix, its because i am incapable of relaxing between my legs and my ass hurting and my back going into spasms every 3 minutes. No wonder this softball league is called an old person's league. I feel like i am 80 years old. Now back to ... sitting around... listening to styx... yeah.

June 3, 2004
Okay, well i mean besides a few words i really never go into movie reviews on this site but honestly i have to really elaborate on Starship Troopers 2: Hero of the Federation cause well i feel i have to. I loved the first movie - perfect combination of violence nudity and i say actually a pretty solid script made that movie. This whole movie takes place five years after the first movie and if you are familiar with the first movie which was suppose to show world war 2, this one (according to the commentary on the dvd) is suppose to take after the Korean war. So anyway it focuses on this one squad that is deep in enemy territory and they are about to be over run so they retreat to a shitty tower thats in the middle of nowhere. The officer seems incompetant and in order to save themselves they release a captain that was confined because he killed his commanding officer. The plot thickens later when bugs take over humans bodies but i wont elaborate on that cause i dont want to ruin it for anyone.
Now let me go into why i have to critique this movie. First of all, this plot was god-awful, during the entire time i was just thinking 'you have got to be kidding me, i've seen this before.'

The equation above shows how this plot is similar to both The X-Files and Species that they could have easily have dropped the bugs and called it The X-Files: Movie 2 or Species 3: This time on a different Planet. My next big problem with this movie is that they have like 12 troopers throughout the entire thing, yet they kick the living shit out of all the bugs they come in contact with. In the first movie it took like 6 troopers alone to take down 1 bug. Now it takes 1 human to kill like 20 by themselves. Also, the first movie made it clear that ammo was an issue while in this movie they didnt even show them reloading let alone mention the lack of ammo. Alright, i'm going off on a tangent here but let me just show you one last thing:
What were they thinking?

These were taken from IMDB staff and crew reports. And all i gotta say is what the hell were they thinking? You cant cast the same people into a sequel... especially if they fucking DIE in the first movie! If you remember correctly that captain in the first movie was cut in half by a door when her battlecruiser (haha, a joke in itself) was shot by some alien plasma. What the hell is this? Weekend at Bernies 3? I dont care if she's another character thats crap. Alright i've said enough. And if you really want my thoughts on it, just to see the two nude scenes in the movie makes it worth watching. Good night.

June 1, 2004
I was having a conversation with Tim Derr and i thought that this was so funny that i had to post it, and my immediate comment.

[09:43:21 PM] Goalie34UD : haha, man i was even wearing that fucking anime shit i wore in HS
[09:43:40 PM] Goalie34UD : i know of only 1 guy in the US that wears it, that fgt from otakon who said "nice shirt"
[09:44:21 PM] TheStarr84: hahahaha
[09:44:30 PM] TheStarr84: i almost snarfed my snapple when reading that

I would update more but i'm writing a speech.

May 26, 2004
Okay... it is confirmed i am pathetic. Yesterday i was denied the chance to have my body studied for science (in other words testing out potentially dangerous medicine). You would think that they would love me for that kinda shit. Then today in public speaking class i gave a sincere persuasive speech and 9 of 11 people in my class said i was pathetic and they needed to vote for me on it. Well thats all i gotta say right now since i am going to North Carolina tomorrow. Have a good rest of the week everyone.

May 23, 2004
Two words: Wear Deodorant.

my gag reflex was working perfectly today

That sums up my day cause i spent it in the philadelphia convention center at a dork festival. Now, I never said i wasnt a dork and i certainly have social problems but seriously, when you'd rather be on a farm face down facing a steaming pile of cow shit then spend any amount of time with these nerds who havent realized cleanliness yet you start to appreciate where you are in the world. And this is not an understatement, the smell was awful, and it was obvious it was B.O. Besides that it was a pretty good time, got me out of the house the entire day and between this and softball i spent like a total of 45 minutes in my house til now. It was a pretty good day.

May 22, 2004
Alright, i decided to update, stop bitching tim, seriously. So last weekend i went to Boston to visit my brother. There was this place to eat there where it was "The Second Best Place in the World to Pig Out." On the menu there there was a 50 dollar burger which included 5 lbs of meat, 21 pieces of cheese, 6 pieces of chicken, and 2 rolls. Along with that it came with 5 lbs of fries. No, this meal was not meant for a family, it turns out that if you finished it within an hour, it wuold be free and they'd put your name and picture on the wall. I didnt have a chance to try any of the burgers there so i cant attest to how they are cause i went there for breakfast which was pretty damn good.
I'm skipping forward to today when i went to diving practice and i landed on my balls so hard i thought they were lodged in my abdomen. After careful analysis though, i am confident that i'll be okay. Since i am obviously desperate for things to say let me just post this picture of my exroommate brian's away message, it sums up how most of Philadelphia feels.

May 18, 2004
Fuck you tim. I'll be back soon to post for real, i am busy today.

May 2, 2004
I love how Philadelphia is so desperate for a winner that they need to praise a horse. I mean, yes, its nice to have our horse win the Kentucky Derby but seriously, its a horse, and i've never even heard about this horse before this week. Suddenly this week though, every newspaper has been putting the horse's picture on the front page to praise what it eventually did. This is the biggest bandwagon jumping ever. I have been joking to my parents that they would have a parade for the horse. I know that the link above requires a membership to see the article, I'll sum up the article in one quoted line:

Philadelphia, a town starved for a champion, finally got one yesterday. So what if he walks on four legs.

This is in the middle of a very tight NHL race, and the best chance the Phillies have to win anything. I dont know, i just feel that the town is already saying that the real teams are going to lose this year. Its just frustrating.

May 1, 2004
I just had to say how funny this comic is. I have been reading that comic for a long time and all i can say is that might be one of the funnier comics. I guess, it hits too close to home for me.