January 30, 2003
Well this is gonna be a quick update (i have been real busy lately, thus no post yesterday). No there is no comic, but i have realized another life long dream. Kendo is the coolest sport ever, its like fencing except you can swing away at people and you get to wear armor. If i finish all my work thats due tomorrow, you may see another update for today. If not, tomorrow is my triumphant return.
January 28, 2003
Well today was sorta interesting, my english class sucked but my japanese class was good (Watashi wa nihongo desu). Anyway my true highlight was at lunch (see comic) when i was with a few friends (more than pictured) and i wasnt listening to them at all but... well just look at the comic.
January 27, 2003
Well i am sick going on the third week straight. I should really get this checked out or something. Anyway Craig sent me a pretty funny link. It features around Tippens and was the first real funny thing i saw all day. If you are waiting for a comic for today, if there will be one at all it will be after dinner so check back 9ish (EST).
Update:Stupid link went dead so today is now useless because it has no updates. But i do suggest you click here go to email and go to strong bad's email (top right). I watched all of these emails... the old ones are kinda lame but the new ones are funny.
January 26, 2003
Well i am back, after hearing all the crazy shit that went on last night, which included directly (bottles breaking outside around 1ish) to indirectly (puking, shit scribbling, and torture), it really inspired this comic. Even though kevin went to sleep at 10 last night.
January 25, 2003
Ah, what a day. After a glorious victory over Fordham there is only one way to celebrate. By watching Ducktales. I think that i had more great nostaligic flashbacks in that 22 minutes than anything else. There will be no comic for today. Next one probably tomorrow, if not then definitly Monday and Tuesday. I need to go catch up on some rest now. Have a good saturday night
January 24, 2003
Everyone has been thinking that i made those pictures. I DID NOT MAKE THEM. And this isnt fight club either, i dont have other personalities that i cant remember doing things and stuff. Look at my start menu. i dont have any programs that can edit pictures like that. Plus even if i did i cant operate those because i am dumb, i can only handle paint.
January 23, 2003
Well i posted the pictures of kris. Once again I must emphisize that i did not make these (look at them, they are not made in paint are they) and that they came from an anonymous source. Enjoy
Update:The pictures were taken down on request of Kris. I should not have posted them in the first place. I appologize for all those who feel angered, damaged, and ill-fainted from them.
January 22, 2003
Well i am done with classes already. Todays big thing on campus is the protest or celebration or something of Roe vs Wade's Aniversary. Which sparked an interesting conversation in computer science class. I made a comic to show it. No i didnt actually say that but you can bet your sweet ass i was thinking it. Oh and i recieved some editorial commented pictures of Kris, and no i did not make them, i actually recieved an anonymous email. Anyway i am going to post them later on because they are halarious.
January 21, 2003
Well you may notice the counter above and wonder what it means. It is purely a way to tell me when swimming is over, it ends on February 22 at 9pm (which is when i think the meet is over by). Thats about it for today. Probably no comic unless i am inspired within the next couple hours.
January 20, 2003
I am still dissapointed with the Eagles, and am having sort of an illness relapse, so this will be a breif post; enjoy the picture. Actually picture related, i got my imodium this weekend, i think it came so quickly because i told them how violent my diarrhea was.
January 19, 2003
No real update for now but the conversation i am having with a girl right now inspired this comic
Update:Well i havent posted about sports since the Sixers lost to the Lakers 2 years ago. Today was a very dissapointing day as the Eagles fell to a 27-10 loss. The only thing getting it off my mind was to go to KFC. After purchasing my food, i was walking out and saw a picture of the Colonel himself saying "See You Tomorrow!". I couldnt understand why, but then i figured it out. The massive dosage of grease that is ingested will have to come out someway or another so tomorrow i was give a good few flushes in honor of Colonel Sanders. (in otherwords the fried chicken is gonna give me the shits!)
January 18, 2003
It's official, my swim team is full of retards, shmucks, and idiots. Yesterday Pat (mentioned in an earlier post) decided to pull a rambo as he went to frat party. What i mean is he approached 5 people, started shit, then broke some kids nose by headbutting him. This also resulted in the other four people kicking the crap out of Pat. Later on he got 8 stitches on his forehead. My coach was not too pleased about this and cut his scholarship money and kicked him off the team. Well, this made it actually possible for me to go to A-10s now. But it still didnt make it so i would swim today. Well i am home again, so if i make a comic, it will be later tonight, maybe it will be of Pats blundering.
January 17, 2003
Well after somewhat recovering from an illness i am nearly back to full strength. It only took a nice 9 hour of sleep night to do it. I would like to personally thank PECO for cutting power to the dorm around midnight so that no one woke up for practice. Anyway, yesterday the fire alarm went on for the 7th non scheduled time this year. I am proud to say that it wasnt a swimmer's fault this time, it was some shmuck that didnt know that if you left popcorn in the microwave for too long it burns. Well thats the reason why some of us are in college, to learn things. There is something about that fire alarm, if you have perfect hearing going into college and live in the dorms for 4 years, chances are you will need a hearing aid coming out. When it goes off, people tend to have flashbacks of something horrible happening to something they really loved, and everyone wants to take out this anger on these damn alarms. The time before this, i slept through 20 minutes of it (which is hard as fuck to do) then i promptly went out in my boxers and barefoot, oh yea this was in early December. My feet instantly lost feeling and i noticed the next morning they were bleeding. there was no point in really telling that story, but i thought it would make up the fact that i didnt make a comic today. Well have a pleasant 3 day weekend.
January 16, 2003
After a busy day, i really dont feel like posting, but i made a comic. Enjoy.
January 15, 2003
Yesterday was an interesting day, although nothing really happend except i saw Mothman Prophesies... another reviewed movie by Bill from my swim team who said it was scary as hell and wasn't (he also claimed that Signs was). The climax was when Kevin screamed like a girl when Pat (another swimmer) timed out perfectly when to yell. Anyway i made up a new comic, about the adventures of me and Kevin (for those who dont know Kevin is my roommate). Enjoy
January 14, 2003
Today i will introduce what was the first day of the training trip. Since we had practice at 8 at night and were let out at 10, we decide to have fun and go to the beach at 3am. There we had a fight in the water, between a good 12 people. In the middle it started thundering and lightning filled the sky. Did we get out? Of course not. This picture is showing me getting pushed and showing another kid who was bleeding from his face at the time cry in agony (even though he never cryed, but it makes it more dramatic).
January 13, 2003
I briefly talked about my computer dieing yesterday, so here comes a Matt Takes On Edition:
Me: Ahhh finally back home from the depths of hell, and now to see my best friend... Hi computer!
PC: What are you doing? Oh you want to look at your porn? TOO FUCKING BAD... Access Denied.
Me: Who the fuck do you think you are? No one gets between me and my porn... prepare to meet your doom
PC: Hah! Do your worst! Wait a second... nooo dont reformat me, you'll lose all 71 of your movies and 400 Mp3s
Me: Every war has it's casulaties
PC: AHHHHHHH!Four Hours Later
Me: Finally everything is back to the way it was before all of this happened, the tyranny of this computer has been conquered... now time for some porn
PC: You horny bastard... i dont think so... Access Denied... Whoose your daddy now, you retarded monkey shit eater
Me: Agh... formatting time, this time both harddrives.This is now at 5am roughly 3 hours from the time before Me: Finally i won, that bastard computer may have killed 8 hours of my time but i defeated it! Jesus, i am now impotent from the damn radiation from the computer. I dont deserve to live anymore
January 12, 2003
I have finally returned from my training trip in florida... damn you swimming, and then a meet in Rhode Island. Many a thing happened while in florida, and sometime this week I will have a whole mirror to the site, including pictures and summaries of what happened. In the meantime you will have to wait because I lost everything on my computer (no more movies, no more games, and no more mp3s) you can see me in withdrawl right now. Oh well, something should be up about this again tomorrow. I am going back to school so that means i'll have nothing but free time.
Update: I just felt like sharing an embarrassing story my mom told about me at dinner today. She said that when i was real young (could barely speak) and when i was afraid of the dark i would sing the theme to ducktales in my parents bed until 4am. Well until tomorrow. G`night
January 1, 2003
Geez, i have been slacking. I missed yesterdays update by a whopping hour and 3 minutes. Oh well nothing really to say except happy new year and expect the last comic and update for over a week tomorrow (or later today).
December 30, 2002
Today, i have seen many things. One for instance was howard and me getting owned in 2v1 warcraft 3. The other a girl (Laura Ball) kicking mine and Tims ass in Solitaire with a whopping 8414 points and in 89 seconds (1 min 29 sec). Also, this isnt just a fluke, her last times were 95 sec, 105 sec, and 122 sec. And to top it all off i am posting with this week's picture of me suffering. But first lets all bask in the awesome victory in solitaire. Oh and pictures now will be up for a day or 2 before being put in by links (to make load times quicker).
December 29, 2002
Yes, i know i missed yesterday's update but there was nothing to say. Now that a day has gone by i do have something to say. A lot has happened in the past 36 hours or so. These things range from me getting my ass kicked in solitaire (Tim Derr's Work) to being harassed for conspiracy. I am not going to go into detail on that, but certain people should never be put in the loop otherwise the breakdown of society is eminent. Well its almost new years, and i dont know what i want for a new years resolution. I dont even know if i want one, i mean i am already so perfect, just like my "Special One week Aniversary". Its so pathetic that i cant even spell Special right. I am surprised no one emailed me saying that i was a retard or something. It'd be pretty close if they did call me it. Today's special word is aphallatosis, because i am suffering from it. Email me if you think you could help it.
December 27, 2002
Well this website has made it for exactly one week today. Celebrations have exploded all around the world, unfortunately in nations that dont allow cameras under penalty of hanging, stoning, and obnoxious 24 hour puns. I hope you enjoy my collage called "The many faces of Matt". I know it brings cheer to my day.
December 26, 2002
I hope everyone had a good holiday. I spent the course of my day in front of the computer cause i wont have a car for a week. I know that this is a late day update but there is nothing i really have to say or post. I am looking for single comic suggestions, so if you will email me here. I will update more tomorrow.
Update: Since this is my winter break i have basically been focusing on two things: Warcraft 3, and solitaire. Yea i know what your thinking "computer games... ur f`in loser". Well you are right about that, i am a loser, but i would like to know how fast people can win in regular 1 draw solitaire. This has been the best game all week, but if you beat it i would like to see it so print the screen and send it to me, who knows i may throw in a prize. Anyway here is my game (just look at the score and the time)
December 25, 2002
Yea, i know you were expecting a comic yesterday but i fell asleep at 8 for a nap, and it turned out being the whole night (i woke up at 9 this morning). Anyway since it is christmas and all here is a very christmas comic for everyone out there. Happy Holidays, and i'll be back tomorrow with another update and probably another comic.
Update:I thought up a comic, and quickly done it, in honors of Christmas eve.
December 24, 2002
So far today i have no comic or anything funny, tomorrow i will definitly have a christmas comic (how do i know this? i already made it). Instead of being funny i am just going to go off on a rant about something or another. After staying up to 3am 3 days in a row then waking up at 8 each morning for practice or doctors appointments and what not, i have gone from the deleriously tired stage to, laughing at everything stage. Someone could have ripped off my testicles and i would be laughing (and crying at the same time). I know this is a pretty shitty update but I will make some comic or something will happen that i can actually show or something. Just bare with me.
December 23, 2002
Another day another pacific midnight snack. Please join me tomorrow morning at 3am for this well honored tradition. Tonight is French Toast ala Matt. Anyway, one of the few audience members i actually have had a quite interesting conversation with me. Being against feminists forever i am going to make fun of her profile (thus Matt takes on). My comments will be in white bold
North Penn is the worst high school ever!! This is the only thing i agree with. You may remember North Penn from The Season on ESPN (about the football team).
As you can tell i'm a junior at North Penn High school in lansdale,pa. No Shit! My name is Jessica and i'm 17. I really am a nice person once you get to know me.. if you were nice, you wouldnt be dissing Pacific Midnight Snack but if you are a republican, racist,sexest or part of a organized religion I fit in two of these categories - i'll let you decide which one i doubt i will take a liking in you. But feel free to IM me anytime. :-) Translatation: God damn i am bored, i shouldnt have gone all Women's Rights on them, maybe then they'd still be talking to me
*Best quote from one of the greatest leaders ever..."Love is the only force capable of transforming an enemy into a friend". --Martin Luther King, Jr. You know how many people are really in love in the world? Lets just say you could count them on one hand... sinners
*Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All invented by women Oh geez, i dont know what we'd do without those things... bulletproof vests gave criminals a chance to make better bullets that go through it (invented by a man). Fire escapes also paved the way for arsonists to make a quick escape. Windshield wipers may have been invented by a woman, but probably after using it as an excuse on why she got into a car accident. Laser printers? Cant you wait the 3 extra seconds for the page to come out? Damn impatient women
December 22, 2002
Well i did absolutely nothing yesterday, didn't even leave my house, yea its pretty pathetic but whatever. Anyway i started a weekly comic, which is whats wrong with me today. It'll be worth a quick look, even though its kinda stupid. Probably next week i will start up some caricutures on people i know. In the meantime, enjoy your sunday and take a look at this:
December 21, 2002
I saw Lord of The Rings last night, and although it was long, and it was annoying to see everyone in the the theater get up at least once to take a piss, it was still pretty good. I did have a few problems with it but it still is up there for a good movie I have seen. (A movie has to be pretty shitty for me to diss it)... anyway u should expect a series of comics about whats wrong with it. Keep in mind i put little side comments on the pictures so let your mouse hover over the picture until it shows.
Update: Just so u dont think i go site to site looking for free stuff like the medicine, a funny banner sent me there.
December 20, 2002
My first real update has to do with getting some free imodium(r). In order for me to get my free medicine i needed to fill out a survey. And since the medicine is used to stop diarrhea, i couldnt help but make fun of it
